Cruelty and the Myth of Strength

cruelty is the mark of weakness

Few people initially come to the martial arts on a whim. In many, even perhaps most cases, it is some form of fear that drives individuals toward dojos and instructors. Many such fears revolve around very real concerns about self-defense. Others seek martial arts training to allay social fears and boost their self-confidence.

Unfortunately, there is also a malignant type of fear that drives certain people to the martial arts – a sense of inadequacy. This is a deeply ingrained feeling of not being “enough”. The only way to overcome this feeling, they reason, is to be as “tough” as possible – the baddest guy around. Under this paradigm, martial arts training is a pursuit of power – the power to dominate and intimidate others as a means to demonstrate toughness. In such a worldview, to be “enough” is to be tough, and the most effective way to advertise this to the world is through one overarching standard of behavior: cruelty.

Such an approach to life is an unhealthy defensive measure against internalized inadequacy. It entails a series of paradigms that mask, but not overcome, these inadequacies. First is the need to appear as tough and strong as possible. Being “strong” means that you can treat others any way you wish. After all, it is reasoned, being deferential to somebody in any way is an act of submission – the very thing tough people do not do. The final paradigm is that weakness of any kind is not to be tolerated. Again, it is rationalized that tough people abhor weakness in the way oil and water repel one another.

“Nobody talks to me like that!” 

 

These are often fanatically driven people. They are rarely happy people. Or mature people. Children worry about their self-image, their ability to compete. Most of them grow out of this. For those who do not—well, frankly, there's something a bit sad about a forty-five-year-old man who gets up every morning and looks in the mirror and wonders if he's still the toughest guy on the block.
—Dave Lowry

from The Essence of Budo (Shambhala, 2010, pg.125)

Martial artists of this sort are extraordinarily dangerous. Their need to overcome their internalized shame often drive them to become quite competent when it comes to fighting. Such individuals are experts at the external aspects of the martial arts. However, without cultivating the internal aspects of martial arts, they seldom find the way out past their personal insecurities. Despite their technical prowess and impressive physicality, they are ultimately immature.

The combination of such immaturity and inadequacy with martial arts prowess is precarious. Cruelty and intimidation are made even more dangerous when wielded by somebody with the capacity to inflict lasting harm on others. Competence at fighting is treated as permission to mistreat others. It is a shallow type of confidence where one can treat others with cruelty without fear of retaliation. It is this reluctance by others to risk pushing back against such behavior that is mistaken for validation.

Ethical Martial Arts

Martial arts are not magical, and expertise is not a guarantee of success in a real fight. Even so, as methods of combat, to train in the martial arts is to possess great destructive power. Martial artists are dangerous people. Without its moral and ethical components, martial arts training is both incomplete and perilous.

The moral dimension of martial arts is found in its internal aspects. Internal martial arts training involves matters of the mind – the ability to maintain focus and self-control. Only by cultivating the internal facets of martial arts can a practitioner truly experience the entirety of the art of fighting. The self-control exhibited by expert martial artists is what separates them from ruffians and bullies. Immature martial artists are perpetually under the thrall of their chaotic inner selves and are seldom in control of their emotional state.

By cultivating self-control, a martial artist is simultaneously becoming a more effective and restrained fighter. Inner calm during the stress of a combat situation is key to effectual fighting – or any intense setting. However, it is this sense of calmness and control that allows them to be more judicious in whether they utilize their skills. It is through this inner cultivation where a martial arts student begins to realize how many conflicts are the result of uncontrolled tempers. In nearly every case, a self-controlled martial artist will recognize that violence is unnecessary. It is here where the core of the Martial Way is made manifest – the moral core of the martial arts.

Internal solutions for internalized problems

Internalized inadequacy can only be overcome by internal means. No amount of muscles, fighting skills, or outward displays of dominance or cruelty will fix it. This is the promise and the tragedy of martial arts study. As methods of combat, they are highly attractive to individuals seeking a means of feeling powerful as a counterpoise to deep-rooted feelings of inadequacy. All too often, such practitioners stop only at these external trappings. They crave the sense of power such skills can impart. Martial arts, to them, are a means to enable toxic behavior that can only temporarily mask their inner inadequacy.

 Martial artists of this sort are tragically on the right path toward truly overcoming their demons, but seldom take the next step past the external into the internal. The only way to conquer insecurities and fears is to address their point of origin – the human mind. The mental training that advanced martial arts requires is inherently contemplative. Inner martial arts is a practice of self-control – the necessary first step in facing our inner shortcomings and insecurities.

Not all martial artists make this step into this internal dimension of the martial arts. Many instructors and schools do not even include it as part of their curriculum – to say nothing of instilling or addressing the ethical aspects of martial arts and fighting.

To discover the true power of the martial arts is to explore them in their entirety. This means that a complete martial arts journey must be holistic – it must include the external, internal, and ethical components of the fighting arts. A complete martial artist is not under the thrall of their fears and possesses a calm inner confidence. No cruelty required.


The Martial Way is a powerful and rewarding way of living derived from the martial arts. To learn more about the history, development, cultivation, and application of the Martial Way, check out my book NOBLE ECHOES: Gifts from the Martial Arts for Modern Life. Available in paperback or Kinde e-book.

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